Cutting Out Toxic Friendships

The older that I get, the more ruthless that I become with my friendships. Over the past couple of years, I have cut people from my life. That may make me sound quite bitchy, but that could not be further from the truth. I just think that this is a case of growing up and having a true realisation of who I want around me.

For this post, I am going to be sharing all about cutting out toxic friendships. Not all friendships are built equally. Similarly, not all friendships stay positive for the entire duration of their lifespan. Change is really good and something that I have had to come to grips with. I hope that if you are needing to make a change, this post helps you.

 

 

Why I cut out people?

The older that I got, the harder it was to maintain all of my friendships that I had in my early twenties. Back then, I would work to have the cash to go out on a weekend. Now, I work hard to build a beautiful house and life for my family. I think the main distinction that made me realise I needed some change was when people couldn’t understand where I was at with my life. I was married pretty young, but that didn’t affect how often I was going out, it obviously just meant that I was in a deep and committed relationship. Some ‘friends’ expressed how boring married life must be and I grew tired at it. We certainly grew up at different paces and that is fine.

 

How I grew from it?

I am not going to lie, when I started to put distance between the toxic friends and I, I did feel bad. My friends have always been my life. Since my schooling years, I have always had hordes of friends and I loved that. As introverted as I am, sometimes I do want to be social. However, after the initial culling of my friendships released that the number of people that I leaned on was much smaller than ever before. I grew up in a WhatsApp era and I have always been connected to my friends. This time, I felt hell of a lot more distant than ever before.

 

Did they realise?

The biggest tell for me and that I made the right decision was that they didn’t reach out. No longer was I the friend that made the first move like before. Every now and again I would look through my chats on my phone and clock who I hadn’t spoken to for a while and I would call them and arrange to meet. The day that I stopped doing that, my phone didn’t ring. None of the people that I decided to create more distance reached out to maintain the friendship. I think that they must have realised eventually because it reached a point where if I saw them out, all I would get was a polite nod instead of a bear hug!

 

Will I continue to do it?

I think that as we grow and develop, we change. Now, I have an amazing group of friends and I couldn’t imagine parting with any of them. However, I also wouldn’t be against it if I ever feel like it was required. The number of friends that I have does not bother me. For me, it all comes down to their heart and their intentions. You never know how those closest to you are going to adapt and grow over the years, so I think that you need to keep an open mind for everything!

 

I hope that you guys liked this post about cutting out toxic friendships. I think that I have mentioned everything that I need, I just want to remind you guys to stick to your guns. You know the people that should be in your life and those that shouldn’t. No longer do I talk to the girls that were always bitchy or those that were hard work to be friends with. Since making these changes to my friendships, I feel much lighter. I have a tight circle now, but I wouldn’t change that for the world. My girls are my family and making the changes and cutting people out has brought us closer. I would love to hear from you guys. Is this something that you would do? Have you ever done any cutting out toxic friendships?