I have now just passed the 22-week stage of my pregnancy. For weeks, people were asking me if I was feeling kicks and I felt scared that I hadn’t. Up until this past week, I hadn’t even felt a flutter. Absolutely nothing. Which prompted me calling the midwife in a flap thinking that there was something wrong. I was assured that it can be completely normal and I could head on in for a scan if I felt like I needed it. Low and behold that evening as I was sat eating a Solero ice cream on the sofa while watching Top Gear, our little baby decided to dance around.
I want to start this out by saying that I am thrilled that I can now feel my baby. There is something so wonderfully reassuring to know that they are fine inside me and still growing as they should be.
When people first started to describe what kicking would feel like, it was always described as flutters. Like light cramping and just a small wriggle. However, my experience was completely different from the get-go. It felt bloody awful. And I’m not even joking, when I felt it for the first time I ran to the bathroom because the sensation made me feel so sick.
I can only describe it as it felt like a small alien inside me that was trying to shoulder their way out. Fucking freaky. For a while after throwing my Solero back up, I tried to think about all of the positives. I told myself about how long I had longed for this day. Reminded myself of all the negative pregnancy tests over the years and I remained incredibly grateful to now be feeling my little human.
But then it happened again…
It was a feeling that I couldn’t get used to. The first days were really rough and to be honest I was nervous that it would happen when I was out and about, and I would end up being sick. Thankfully, it seems that baby only seems to want to dance around inside me when I decide to switch off and get comfortable at night. Not ideal, but better than when I am in the middle of a packed office.
I hope that over the next few weeks I am going to get to a stage where I enjoy it just like everybody else does. The more it happens, the more I will get used to it. Hopefully from there it will stop feeling so bizarre and I will be able to enjoy every little movement. I am just nervous as I get closer to my due date that I will see a little elbow sticking out of me and it will terrify me even more!
How did you guys feel when the kicks started? Did you enjoy it or was it completely alien to you and did you react like me?!
