For those of you who don’t know, back in September 2019 I married my long-term partner. After years together, we decided that we loved one another enough to make it official. Neither of us had ever been the “dream wedding” type — we just wanted to make that public commitment and start the next chapter of our lives together.
Our wedding was… individual, to say the least. We had a tiny ceremony with just ten people, followed by a huge after-party that was about as far from a traditional wedding reception as you could possibly get. But the question that I keep coming back to, even now, is this: am I glad I changed my name?
Why I Changed My Name
When it came time to decide whether or not to change my name, I saw it as a chance for a fresh start. Around that time, both my husband and I were making a lot of positive changes in our lives, and changing my name just seemed like the natural next step — a symbolic way to embrace all of those changes and move into happier times.
There was also a small part of me that thought about the future, that if we were ever to have children, we’d all share the same surname. Though honestly, in this day and age, that doesn’t matter nearly as much as it used to. It just felt like another way of moving forward together.
At First, It Felt Exciting
Right after the wedding, it was genuinely exciting hearing people call me by my new name. Every time someone said “Mrs [new surname],” it felt surreal and special — like a little reminder of that wonderful day and everything it meant.
For the first few months, it made me smile every single time. But as the novelty wore off, that “new” feeling faded, and what replaced it was something I hadn’t expected: a sense of loss. Suddenly, my old name had completely disappeared. And as silly as it might sound, that felt incredibly strange.
Losing My Maiden Name
The thing is, I have a deep emotional connection to my maiden name. My family means everything to me, and in the area where I live, our family name is well known. It carries weight, history, and warmth — and when I changed it, it felt, in a small way, like I’d stepped away from that.
Of course, I haven’t “left” my family — far from it. But emotionally, it sometimes feels like I’ve been cut from the cloth that I was once a part of. I never expected to feel that way. After all, it’s “just a name,” right? But it turns out it’s much more than that. It’s a piece of your identity, your story, and your belonging.
Being the Last One
Something that weighs on me even more is that I’m the last person in my family with my maiden name. That’s a hard pill to swallow. Our family name has deep roots — it stretches far back, and to think that it might end with me makes me feel a real pang of guilt.
Part of me wonders if I should have hyphenated my name, just to keep that connection alive and have the option of passing it on. It’s one of those thoughts that lingers in the back of my mind whenever I see my name written down in its new form.
Pride and Guilt in Equal Measure
I know that to many people this might sound a little silly — it’s just a name, after all. And I do love that I now share the same surname as my husband. It makes me feel like we’ve created something of our own, a new little family with our own story.
But at the same time, there’s still that tiny sting of guilt — like I’ve turned my back on a part of who I am. It’s a complicated feeling, pride and nostalgia all mixed together.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve changed your name, or you’re thinking about it, I’d love to know how you felt. Did you feel a sense of loss like I did, or was it just excitement from start to finish? Maybe you decided to keep your name or hyphenate it.
Whatever your choice, I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. For me, I love being part of my husband’s name and story, but a little part of me will always belong to my maiden name too. Make sure to leave me a comment down below and let me know your thoughts, did changing your name change you in any way?
