 I wish that I had a pound for every time somebody asked me when I am going to have a baby. Honestly, I would not need to work full-time or write blog posts in the evening.
I have no idea what happened but as soon as my husband and I got married and we exchanged rings. Honestly, I can remember being at our wedding reception and it was the first question people would ask us quickly after congratulating us on our nuptials. These days, this is the only question that people ever ask us and to begin with, we just brushed it off and rolled our eyes. The longer that it goes on, the more it just fucking annoys me.
Honestly, I can remember being stood at our wedding reception. One of our aunties came up to us and asked if by our first anniversary there the pitter-patter of tiny feet on the floor would be. I honestly think that my jaw hit the floor. I didn’t want to act like the true bitch that I really am, especially on my wedding day. I just brushed it off and tried to move on. Since that moment, we have had the question asked by family, colleagues, friends and pretty much everybody that we meet when they find out that we have tied the knot.
The truth is that I do not know if I can have children.
I do not ovulate. I may have two periods a year. Unplanned and out of the blue when they hit. I am not able to track them in any way. This would make conceiving incredibly difficult. At this moment in our lives, we are not ready to start a family. We are not trying. But, should we attempt to start our own family, we know that it will be a very difficult process. I only have around a 5% chance of ever conceiving naturally. There is no way to track and monitor if I am ovulating.
My defence mechanism has always been acting like I do not want children at all. I got the news that I may never conceive when I was just 19, so ignorance was bliss and I didn’t think that much of it. Then over the years my now-husband and I made peace with the idea that it may never happen for us, but obviously, as we get older and our family and friends of a similar age are starting their own families, there are maternal pangs within me that long for that, not necessarily right now, but to be a mother at some point.
But then I get people like my bloody Great Aunt Janet coming up to me while I am holding my niece to let me know that I will make a wonderful mother and she can tell that it will happen soon, I could honestly drop-kick her. She’s in her 80s and that’s how it makes me feel when people constantly question us when we are going to start a family. I could drop-kick an 80-year-old.
I don’t want to write a blog post just moaning because I truly do know that people probably only have the best of intentions. People are excited for us to take that next step and they want more information. However, I think that in this day and age, it shouldn’t be a question. It shouldn’t cross your mind to ask somebody else about their intention to start a family. At least, not unless they broach the conversation before. Follow other peoples leads and if they aren’t talking about it, I strongly advice for you to steer away from the incredibly intrusive questions.
