Today I am going to sit down and speak to you guys about my mental health. I have spoken about my mental health and struggles before. I feel for those of you that know about my struggles, this may be quite boring. The reason why I want to speak about this again is to try and reach new people.

I have suffered with my mental health for many years and I like to talk about it. I do not want there to be a stigma and because of that, we need to talk. So I thought that today, I would give you a catch-up on my mental health. Also shed some light on where I am at today, the help that I get and how I am moving forward.

 

 

The depth of my mental health.

Firstly, in this catch-up on my mental health, I want to be honest and open. I have always suffered from OCD, I was diagnosed at 14. It was hard for me, but something that I have learnt somewhat to live with. As the years have gone on, I have had times of immense lows. As a symptom of my OCD, I can feel incredible anxiety and that often leads directly into depression. Because this happens infrequently, I do not take medication because 95% of the time I am ok managing it. Then, that other 5% of the time, it feels like my life is ending and there is nothing to live for. The lows I have felt are terrifying and I am always scared in anticipation for the next time it may happen.

 

The help I got for my mental health.

Generally speaking, when I am in a time of being ‘ok’ I have talking therapy. I have somebody that I am very comfortable with and I speak to them every two weeks. At times, I really do feel like it is unnecessary, but I need to keep up that dialogue. I need to continue opening up to somebody in a professional capacity. This means that when I am in that scary 5%, I know the drill. I know how to speak to somebody and the questions she is going to ask. There was a time in early 2020 when I did have to rely on medication to get me out of my lowest low, and it helped. I had only used anti-depressants once before and I didn’t think that they were effective. The second time, I needed them.

 

The things I do day to day.

As I mentioned above, much of the time, around 95% of the time, I am fine, I feel like I am a well-functioning person and I feel ‘normal’. However, as much as I say that, I do have to do certain things in order to keep me on track. For example, with my OCD, I need to make lists. I have a list or spreadsheet for just about everything in my life. For general day-to-day things, I use Microsoft To Do. In here, I set all of the recurring tasks which I do on set days throughout the week/month/year. Then, for other things that I want to do/buy/remember I have a spreadsheet. Without these, I feel like I have a thousand things whirling around my head and without capturing them in this way, I lose the ability to function normally.

 

Why I encourage conversation.

For me and dealing with my mental health, conversation is key. Not only do I respond well to talking therapy. It is so important. I hope that by my talking, others may realise they are not alone. I can remember as a teenager, I was starting to have these thoughts and being unable to control my thoughts. Honestly, I thought that I was the only person in the world who thought this way. If there was somebody out there who let me know that this is a condition and there is not something wrong with me, I would have felt better. I honestly needed to know that there were others like me. Plus, there was a way to get through it and deal with it.

 

I hope you liked reading this catch-up on my mental health. I know that for most people, this is something that they do not like to speak about. For me, I want to help people out there. There have been times in my life when I felt completely alone. I felt lost in my own thoughts and lower than I ever have in my life. I want people to know that there is always somebody to speak to. There is always somebody who can help you.