It is time for a new blog post here on my little corner of the internet. Today, I am going to be speaking to you about the positive changes that I made to my life. As much as I hate to admit this, I have not always been an overly positive person. I feel like I was born a pessimist into a family full of pessimists. Even though I feel like I used this part of my personality to my advantage with comedic effect, it can be draining. I used to get up in the morning and I felt like everything went wrong from the moment my feet touched the ground. It was just exhausting to always have that frame of mine. During lockdown last year, I decided to make a change. The few small things that I am going to mention below really changed my outlook. That is why I wanted to share them with you today.
Stopped focusing on others.
I am 100% a people pleaser. At work I had to do a driver assessment to learn more about my personability. The trainer literally laughed when she saw mine because it pointed that much into the people pleaser category. Everything that I have done my whole adult life, personal and work has been to please others. I think that there is a fine line between been approachable/helpful, and then falling into the trap of being a people pleaser. I knew I needed to stop and put myself first. Learning how to do this and get the courage to say ‘no’, was very hard. But it helped me so much.
Accepted that I am a planner.
For so many years, I have tried to fight the OCD and analytic side of my brain. I wanted to be like so many other people in my life and have some spontaneity. However, fighting my urges to make a spreadsheet and work everything out in fine detail was incredibly hard for me. In the end, I decided to embrace what my brain wants me to do. If my head is telling me to make 5 lists and an Excel, then I am going to do it. Planning is what makes me who I am. Plus, I find that when I see things in black and white, it frees up some of my mind to think about other things.
Learnt what makes me feel my best.
As the people please that I am, I find it very hard to do things for myself. I supress any needs or feelings that I have and just focus on the needs of other. However, I stopped doing this and I made time for myself. The things that make me feel my best are the simple things in live. I love laying on the sofa all day, under a duvet and watching Ghost Adventures. I love spending time alone and going to the cinema to watch a new movie and then going for food alone. Just taking time to do the little things and not thinking about other people or their opinions really helped to open up my mind.
Cleaned up my diet.
For far too many years, I have eaten and drank what I want. Even though I don necessarily like sweet foods, I do like very rich food. When it came to drinking, it wasn’t alcohol that I wanted, it was energy drinks. At the time, I didn’t think that this was a problem until I went on holiday. Just by cutting the amount of energy drink that I was having sent me into withdrawal, and I felt horrendous. I realised that not only was I drinking badness, I was eating rich food that made me feel slow and sluggish. I needed to change it and just by cleaning it up, I felt like a new woman within a month!
Went to the doctors.
I have shared this before here on my blog, but I have health anxiety. The idea of going to the doctors absolutely terrifies me. I think that it stems from having a family with many different health problems, specifically cancers. If I had an ache in my boob, I automatically thought I had breast cancer. The level of paranoia was unbearable at times. I had to speak to somebody. My appointment at the doctors was amazing and they were so patient with me. I told them all of my issues, how I felt, why I felt that way and it was like a weight had been lifted.
Became more open with people.
One thing about me, is that I am very guarded. That may be hard to believe because I do share so much here on my blog. However, I feel like I can be more open here because I am not going to meet 99% of the people that spend time reading my blog. However, when it comes to my friends/colleagues/family, I am a very guarded person. I hate been the centre of attention and because of that, I keep a lot of what I should keep within, locked in a tight box within my chest. Sharing is a release and the statement, “A problem shared is a problem halved”, could not be more true.
I hope that you guys enjoyed reading this blog post. As I mentioned, these are such small things, but they have made the world of difference. It took just a single moment of realisation and then things started to click into place. I don’t need to start my day in a bad mood. Also, if something does go wrong early on in the day, I don’t have to let that dictate how my entire day and attitude is going to be. Honestly, I just wish that I did these things so much sooner because they have made a huge difference to me and those around me. As always, I would love to hear from you guys. Let me know what you think and if you have ever made a change like this in your life.
