The other day, I wrote a post all about the things that I have learnt with age. To elaborate on that subject, today I want to chat to you guys about the things that I would tell my younger self. When I was a teenager, I was a worrier. Just as I am today, but to a degree I was even more lost. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, and I felt an immeasurable pressure to do good. I wanted to make my family proud, to be able to take care of everybody and to thrive. Here are the things that I would tell my younger self to try and give her a helping hand…
Don’t wish your teenage years away.
I think for most of my life, I have always longed to be older than I was. As a child I dreamed of been a teenager. Then when I was a teenager, I wanted to be 16. As soon as I turned I longed to be 18 so that I could go out drinking. It wasn’t until more recently I have felt happy with the stage of life where I am now. I should have loved the time of my life that I was currently in.
Don’t worry about not having a plan.
When I was at school, I really excelled academically. I thrived and got my degree in history when I was only 16. Beyond that, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing with my life. Because I was knowledgeable beyond my years, people always asked what I wanted to and what career I was going into. I had no answer and that terrified me. There were countless times I would be up all-night panicking about now knowing what direction my life was heading in. I felt like even as a teenager I should have known everything. I would tell my younger self that it is fine to not have a plan.
Get your driver’s license.
I put off getting my driver’s license because I knew that even if I passed my test, I wouldn’t have been able to afford a car. It wasn’t until I got with my now-husband that he forced me into it. I believe his exact words were, “I’m not bloody driving you around for the rest of our lives”. It was the best thing he could have ever said to me. As a teenager, it would have given me a feeling of freedom that I really needed.
You will have money and it will get easier.
There is no way to sugar coat this, I grew up poor. I was daughter to divorced parents. My father was really well off and lived an extravagant life with his new wife. However, even though he paid child maintenance and saw us on the weekend, our life at home with our single mother was very hard. There were months where we ate nothing but pasta because it was cheap and filling. There were times as a child that I would go to bed scared that we would lose our house. Problems that no child should have to worry about. What I wouldn’t give to tell my younger self that we would one day have money. Not even just enough to get by and pay the bills. The kind of money to give us and those that we love another life!
Accept help from people.
I am independent through and through. It is something that I still struggle with to this day. But if I had accepted help as a teenager, things may have been different. Instead of shouldering the weight of the world on my tiny shoulders, I may have been in a much better place mentally. That may have meant that I wouldn’t be in CBT today trying to get to the root of my problem. People don’t always know the right thing to say, but sharing a problem helps immeasurably when you are living through something.
Experiencing pain is healthy.
There were many points during my late teenage years where I experienced pain. Whether it was grief, the loss of a relationship and even physical abuse, I went through a lot. As I look back, I realise that the pain made me who I am today. But as you live through it, you never realise the strength, resilience and determination that the pain is going to bring you. I wish I could tell my younger self that I would be so much stronger for the things that I have experienced.
As always, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this post regarding the things that I would tell my younger self. In hindsight, these things are all a given. More than anything, I wish that I took more time to enjoy my teenage years. The pressure that I felt often meant that I didn’t get to be a kid. I was always having to be the grown up, or be a part of grown up conversations. It is hard to be that way when you are literally just a child yourself. I should have been given the opportunity to take advantage of that rather than acting older than my years. As always, I would love to hear from you guys on this. Is there anything that you would want to tell your younger self?
