I am sure that you guys have heard the phrase, Instagram vs Reality. Even though I had seen and heard the phrase countless times on the internet, I never really thought about it in relation to myself. However, my husband being the grounding guy that he is, pointed out to me just how far I went to portray this more aesthetic life.
To begin with, I tried to argue that I didn’t try and portray a more glamorous version of my life. But then I started to doubt my own words. There were instances popping up in my head of times where I have altered things, staged scenarios, showed the best photos and even bought things in order to show this ‘aesthetic’ and perfect life to other people.
My husband then delivered the final blow… He said that he 100% supports me spending my money on the things that I love. Whether it be expensive cars, designer bags and everything else in between. But if I am doing those things to get clout and recognition from other people, that is me adding to the problem of an ‘aesthetic’ life and he doesn’t support that.
Damn that fucker, he was right.
A prime example of this is clear with my cars. I have always been a lover of a nice car. My childhood was spent watching countless hours watching Top Gear with my dad. As soon as I began to earn a good living, I wanted to invest in a nice car. My dream car had always been a Jaguar F-Pace and when I was only 24 years old, I was able to buy one.
But it wasn’t just enough that I had bought one. I wanted everybody to know that I had bought one. So, I quite literally did a photoshoot with the sleek interior of my car, and I shared the best snaps on my Instagram. At the time I tried to tell myself that I was doing it because I wanted to share this amazing accomplishment. But I think it got twisted somewhere along the way and I was sharing my new car to flaunt my wealth.
Something else which I am guilty of is only sharing the good parts of my life. I struggle almost everyday with my mental health. Most days, I get in from work, burnt out and my evenings are spent snuggling on the sofa with my dog. But the outside world doesn’t see that real side of my life. Instead, they see this perfected, aesthetic life. They see images that I have taken in bulk for my site that I slowly roll out through the weeks. It isn’t true or a fair representation of me and what I am going through.
There are times when we will all be guilty of doing this and trying to live a more aesthetic life. But I want to start sharing more of my unedited self. Something that is more relatable to others. Whether it is the inside of my messy car. My dog hair covered clothes after cuddling my Golden Retriever. Ugly pubs on nights out with my friends. I want to be more real. The aesthetic life is something that I no longer want to live up to. I feel ready to move away from that.
