Can Men and Women Be Friends?

Today I am going to be speaking about something that I want to open up a dialogue about. This is going to be all about whether men and woman can be friends. Since being a young girl, I have had more guy friends than girls. For some reason, even as a child, I made friends with boys so much easier.

My friendship split has always been around 70% male and 30% female. That is what I was happy with and I liked it that way. I am not going to lie; it has not always been easy for me. I have had comments from other woman for spending so much time with men. There have also been occasions where lines have been blurred with my male friendships. This is my open conversation. What do you think? Can men and women be friends?

 

 

Why I have always been closer with men.

I grew up surrounded by men. My dad is one of 7 brothers. All as big and tough as the last. Out of the 7 brothers, my dad was the first to have kids. He had my sister and I. Those 7 men taught me to be tough, stand up for myself and I love them for that. I don’t know if it is because I am used to men that I just naturally migrated to boys. The other reason was that my primary school was tiny. In my year group, there was 18 of us. Out of the 18 in my class for the entire duration of my primary school, there was 12 boys. I was trapped with them, but to be honest, I loved it. There was no bitching, it was just funny all of the time!

 

What women seem to think.

Growing up, I was always that girl that was with the boys. Girls thought that I was a slut. They thought that I was with them for one reason, sex. It was hell of a lot worse when I was at secondary school and college. The girls that were in my year at school were horrible people. Any excuse to tear you down, they would use against you. It just happened to be that I gave them ammunition against me walking around with a group of 10 lads all of the time. It did hurt me for many years. I didn’t want people thinking that about me. Quickly , I grew out of wanting to please and it became easier not to care. I put distance between them people and myself. It did get easier.

 

When the lines have been blurred.

During my schooling years, when I really needed friends, that was when it was the hardest. I don’t know what it was, but the people that I was friends with all of my life, were developing feelings. It killed me. I just wanted my normal friend back, that had been in my life for years. All of a sudden, puberty kicked in and all of a sudden, they were seeing me as a different person. I think even as I have gotten older, that has been the odd occasion where all of a sudden, there are romantic feelings in the way. They seem to come out of nowhere and hit like a tonne of bricks. I am not going to lie, on one occasion, it happened to me.

 

Jealousy in relationships.

Before I married my wonderful husband, I was with a very jealous man. We met late on in school. He knew that many of my friendships were with men, however it was a problem when I became his girlfriend. He tried to make me create some distance between me and my friends. Foolishly, I was young, and I felt like that was something that I needed to do. He just thought that if I wanted male companionship, why would I want it with anybody other than himself. He made me feel awful about it and I did find myself creating that space. Time really does open your eyes. I now realise that I should have cut my then-boyfriend out of my life, not my pals. They understood though. I feel like my male friends have all had awkward conversations with girlfriends too about their closeness to me.

 

How my male friendships are now I am married.

I have mentioned my husband before on my blog. To be honestly, he is that laid back, I bet he hasn’t even realised my friends are all men. To him, were married. What is there to worry about? I can remember when we first got together, I said that I was going out with Bradley. He didn’t even bat an eyelid. I found it quite strange that he wasn’t jealous and that no comments followed. He just said that I made a commitment to him, so why would he need to worry? If there was something between Bradley and I, it would have happened previously. My husband is the best man. But I also recognise that he is in the minority. From speaking to my friends in serious long-term relationships, I know that this would not always be the case.

 

There you have it, that is my tale. Can men and women be friends? Honestly think that they can. I think that from the offset, you have to be honest. I can remember one of my dearest friends Callum. We were as thick as thieves; he was my best pal. Years went by and he professed his love. No, I am not saying this in a big-headed way like I have men lining up at my door. I was devastated. Not only did I not feel the same, it ruined everything that we had. I am not saying that it always ruins a friendship because you can work around it, but it is hard. Honestly is always the best policy. I would love to hear from you guys on this. Please leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts. Can men and women be friends?