If you have been reading my blog for a while, you may be aware of my issues with fertility. When I was 19 years old, I found out that I do not ovulate like normal women do. I may have one period every 7 months, opposed to other women that have one period per month. At the time I thought it was a blessing.
I had around one period per year, I thought it was a dream. I could wear white shorts all year round. Didn’t have to worry about the bloating or any period pains. As I got older, I realized that my plans for a family were gone. I didn’t know what to do or what would happen next.
The advice that I got at the time as a 19-year-old was to come off my contraception and start trying for a family. I didn’t want to do that. At the time, I didn’t think that I ever wanted children. For a long time, we decided just to carry on as if we didn’t know the news. It was my grandmother one day that made me think long and hard about my plans for a family.
She told me to look thirty years into my future. It is just my husband and I sat in our home. No mortgage, everything we have ever wanted and travelled the world. But, it is now just the two of us. No children to phone. No grandchildren to run around and keep us busy. She made me question if I would be happy for the next 60 years of my life just to be my husband and I. Quickly I realised that if I never had a family, I would feel like I have missed out.
That brings us on to this moment in time. We have been married for a number of years and are well-settled in our home. Realistically, we are still younger than we would like to start a family. However, we know that starting now may be out only chance, if not my plans for a family could be blown. We are planning the date when all contraception finishes and when we try to track what we can from my ineffective baby-making system. Obviously, I am not going to share that, but it will be happening soon.
That way, if nothing happens naturally within a certain amount of time, we have plenty of time to take the next step. As unfortunate as it is, you have much better chances in your twenties than in your thirties. Especially if it does mean that we have IVF in the future. At the minute, there are just so many unknown factors and it is quite scary.
The truth is that I am only just 27. Would I like to have a child in the next year? No, I probably wouldn’t. It certainly wasn’t in my plan for it to happen this soon. However, I am fortunate enough to have spoken to many people who have had issues with their fertility and I am taking their advice very seriously.
I know that to most people, this post will not have made things any more clear. We are still in a period where things are up in the air. My plans for a family are starting to move, albeit slowly. I have a feeling that the next couple of years are going to be hard and even though I don’t want a family now, it will feel like a failure with every negative test. I will share more along the way. Honestly, I completely understand that this is a common thing that happens to many people. I wish well to everybody going through something similar.
