Today I am going to be writing a blog post all about mental health. I have shared a lot on my blog over the years in regard to my own mental health. My struggles really are personal battles and I go through periods of clarity and different periods of dread. I speak about my mental health so openly because I would like to help break down the stigma.

So many of us have issues with our mental health and so many of us really do suffer in silence. Just to have an open conversation, I want to sit down today and catch you guys up on where I am at now. I want to do this for no other reason than to keep the dialogue going and to encourage honest conversation.

 

 

What I have going on.

For me, the past year really has been quite transformative. Last year, in the midst of COVID and the hardest year that I have ever had at work, my mental health took a U-turn. For the first time in a very long time, I needed to rely on medication. Not going to lie, I do tend to try to stay away from medication because generally speaking, I can keep things under control with coping mechanisms. However, I am not too proud to admit when I need some more help. I needed the help of medication. I stayed on it for the best part of 8 months and I am not finding my groove again without medication.

 

Where I am now.

So, as I mentioned, I have transitioned back off my medication. I will not share what medication I was on, because I understand that with anti-depressants it is not a one size fits all method. I have been suffering with my mental health for well over a decade and I have been diagnosed with OCD for most of my life. I am back to doing the things that I have always done in order to try to keep my mind on track. It has not been without its difficulties. There is hell of a lot that can go wrong and a bad day can really throw me off all over again. For me, it is just all about one step at a time.

 

Where I have been.

Before opting to go on medication, I was at a stage where it felt like there was no sunshine. I was waking up every single morning, but I still felt like my soul was still asleep in bed. Trust me, I know that makes me sound insane. But I feel like only 10% of me was getting out of bed in the morning. I was not seeing the joy in anything. Nothing was making me laugh. I was not engaged with anything and I was getting further and further into this hole of misery. Without a second thought, I went on medication and I felt much better within a matter of weeks.

 

Why I want to open a dialogue.

The reason why I thought that this blog post was so important is because medication can be so taboo. I can remember growing up and anti-depressants were for insane people that were off their head. Or at least that is the open opinion that people had about them and what people my age grew up to believe. Now, I want to change the narrative. When I use anti-depressants, they help to balance something out within me and that allows me to be myself. I have no issue speaking about my dependency on them from time to time. I just wish that when I first needed to go on them, I could relate to somebody else out there!

 

Honestly, I completely understand that for some people this may oversharing. Even some of my own family do not know why I choose to share so much online. As I mentioned, I do this to try to help. There are so many people out there that feel alone. I know back in 2012 when my mental health issues really started to ramp up, I felt like I could have nowhere to turn. I hope that you guys all know that there is always somewhere to turn and somebody that you can speak to.