My infertility journey is something that I have spoken openly about here on my blog. It is a big part of who I am. That is why I wanted to write this post for you today. Even though I can speak only about it, I still have days of doubt. There are days where I don’t want to discuss the situation.
Times when I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend that things were different. However, over time, I have learned some things that I need to do in order to help in coping with my infertility. I thought that in this post, I would share some of the things that I do. These things help me to decompress and get back on the right track.
I talk with my husband.
Even though I think most of my family understand, my husband gets it. At times, it is a shared pain that we have that we may never have children. When I am having a time like this, we normally sit together and spend some time decompressing with one another. Chances are, if I am feeling like this, he has also felt pangs like this from time to time. We just spend some time just the two of us, going through everything.
I discuss it with my doctor.
I have mentioned several times on my blog that I speak to a counsellor. Mixed in with my infertility, I have OCD. I work through that every day, but it can make coping with my infertility that bit harder. Normally, if I am feeling pangs of wanting children, I will speak to my doctor about the next logical stage. Normally, we go around in circles with this conversation. However, even if we change our mind and decide that we don’t want children, it helps to speak to a medical professional.
I plan what I want my next stages to be.
Every now and again, when I think about long term never having children, that hurts my heart. Even though in my mind I might not want children in the next 5 years, the thought of never having them hurts. What helps me is to think about how my life could look, if I never had them. I try not to think about the negatives, but I think about what I can do with my life and time. It helps me to see that even without children, I can be the best version of myself.
I put people in the picture.
Something that is important to me is to talk it out. I mentioned above that I speak to my husband, but sometimes I need to speak to more people. We still get passing comments from friends and family about us having kids. They all know the situation, however they say things like “it will happen”. It does help with the whole coping with infertility thing. Sometimes, just sitting them down and putting them in the picture really does help.
I hope that you guys liked this blog post. Even though I do carry out these things in order to help supress my feelings, I also like to feel. If I am having a day where I want to feel sad, I will do. It is healthy to think of the emotions and deal with them head on. Even if that means that I spend a couple of days in bed, watching shit TV and crying. If you are reading this blog post, I hope that whatever you are dealing with, you do so in a healthy way. Do what you need to do. Take the time that you need to take. Just feel.
