Usually at this time of the year I would be writing a post about my goals for the coming year. However, this year I want to take this time to write about something else. As you can see from the title, this is a mental health related blog post. You will already know if you have visited my blog before, mental health is something incredibly important to me. I first started having issues with my mental health when I was only 14 years old. Since then, I have gone through quite a journey with my mental health, and I have shared a lot of my thoughts and feelings here on my blog over the years. However today, I am going to be focusing on mental health and a lack of family support.
Why is this post needed?
The reason why I wanted to write this post today is because I have seen how damaging mental health can be when you don’t have family support. My very good friend, that I actually met at a help group, had no support. Once when I met his family, his mum actually asked me what I made of his, ”crazy thoughts”. I scoffed and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Their son sat upstairs having dark thoughts about killing himself because his depression was so advanced, yet they just put it down to him having “crazy thoughts”. I bit my lip so hard that day that it fucking bled.
What else can you do?
I understand that when you are in this situation and living it every day, it can be amazingly hard to put up a wall. And you absolutely shouldn’t have to deal with it as those that are related to you should have understanding and empathy for what you are going for. However, one thing that you need to do is ensure that you are communicating well with then, maintaining a level of calm and that you have an escape. Whether this is a physical escape that you can go to when needed, an emotional support network or medical help.
What can make them understand?
One thing that I found helped my own parents understand was by getting them involved in my support group. They were not understanding to the extent of my problem. As much as they wanted to help me., they were also pretty narrowminded in their understanding. Which is not a criticism, it is just a case of education. I asked my doctor and my councillor if they would be happy for my parents to attend a session and they encouraged it. Once my parents heard what medical professionals were saying to me, I think it gave them a greater understanding of where I was.
Be very open with them.
Within my support group, we were all in agreement that being open is one of the greatest tools in developing a level of understanding. Many of us try to act like everting is ok, but that doesn’t allow those closest to us to understand what we are going through. With my parents, I would wake up in a morning, go and sit with them and tell them how I was feeling. If I was overwhelmed, feeling low, getting into he realms of depression. Whatever I felt, I vocalised it to them. My mum said that I worried her, but she had a right to be worried, I was worried too. It encouraged them to want to learn more about what I was going through.
Ensure that you have a network beyond your families.
Even though you ultimately should be able to rely on your family, the sad truth is that isn’t always the case. Have people that you can lean on. It doesn’t always need to be friends, it can be people in a shared community, online friends, doctors, mental health support workers, etc. Just have that person or group of people that you can vent to and speak openly to at all times. Within my friendship group, I am always happy to be that person that people ring and scream to, vent at and lean on for emotional support.
I hope that you guys enjoyed this blog post and it helped you guys. Mental health is hard enough. However, combining mental health with a lack of family support. When you are dealing with these things, you need to ensure that you have a great support network. Sadly, that doesn’t always come from the people that you are related to. For me, I am fortunate, but I have seen first-hand how it can be for other people. Keep your circle tight and strong. Some of my best support has come from my friends and colleagues, which is amazing. Just make sure that you do have that network that you can rely on, it is so important. Also, try to educated the narrowminded people that do not understand, nor want to understand mental health.
