Today, I am going to be speaking to you guys all about my mental health and medication. I have been blogging now for almost a decade. That means that for the best part of 10 years, I have been speaking openly about my mental health. I can remember, back when I was 16 and I sat down to write my first blog post about my OCD and depression, I was terrified. Honestly, I had no idea how people would respond and if I would get torn to shreds.

All of this time later, regardless of what others may think, I believe that it is so important to speak openly about these things. Only with open communication can we influence change and help those that need it. Today, I am going to be delving into my experience with medication.

 

 

Where I am at now.

I feel that just for transparency, I should start by telling you guys where I am at now. I have now been off my anti-depressants for around 6 months. At the time, I absolutely needed to be on them. However, whilst I was on them, I had a period of clarity and I put measures in place to manage my mental health without medication. Remember though, I have been dealing with my mental health conditions for well over 10 years. Day to day, I deal with my thoughts and feelings in a calculated manor that works for me. Now, I am using my coping mechanisms and I am doing really well.

 

Why I needed to go on medication.

The reason why I needed to go on medication was because I was losing myself. I was going through a period of high stress and my mind was running at a million miles per hour. It was affecting my breathing; I was having panic attacks and I couldn’t tell which way was up. Normally, before things get to this stage, I can give myself a talking to, make a list or two and I am back on track. For months on end, there was no back on track. Every single day was just sheer panic, and I was left dreading another day of the same feelings. My doctor without a doubt encouraged me to go in medication. Which I accepted.

 

How it was finding the right fit.

The thing that you always hear about anti-depressants is that it is hard to find the right one for you. There are so many different tablets out there and it isn’t a one-size-fits-all all kind of thing. The first tablets that I was put on made me absolutely wired and I didn’t sleep for around 3 weeks. The next set of tablets made me have a horrendous upset stomach and I lost the best part of a stone (and I don’t have a stone to lose). Finally, I settled on one which made me feel quite numb, but that worked for me and what I was looking for.

 

How I have benefitted since starting.

The one thing that the anti-depressants made me feel was clarity. With my OCD, ideas and thoughts run around my head like I am a crazy lady. As I mentioned, normally good think and a well-organised list sets me on the right path. When I go into a depressive state, that is impossible. The addition of the medication helped me to take all of the thoughts that were running around my head and I was able to compartmentalise them all again. I needed that for my own well-being. I felt much more lifted and so much better within myself. Not going to lie, excitement and joy had left the building also, but I needed to be in that neutral mode and I would rather not feel anything, than feel everything too intense.

 

I hope that you guys liked reading this blog post. I know that it is a little bit of a detour from my normal content, but it is so very important to discuss. Honestly, I can remember feeling so ashamed that I needed tablets to help me with my condition. Growing up, I heard of other people with mental health issues, but I never heard anybody speak about medication. Or if I did, it was all under hushed voices. The main reason why I write openly about these things is because I don’t want there to be a stigma. I want people to be able to write about their mental health and talk about it without looks of sympathy or concern.