If you have been around for a while, you may know that four years ago I got married. At the time I was only 24 years old, which by today’s standards is pretty young for a wedding. I have questioned my family about why they let us get hitched so young, but they knew that we would have ignored them if they tried to make us wait. Regardless of our age when we got married, the truth is that we are sickeningly, painfully happy. Our marriage has always been easy, wonderful and supportive. People have often commented on our new-age marriage and how things differ from old-school marriages. Because of that, I thought I would write a post all about our modern approach to marriage.
Breaking traditions on our wedding day.
From the very start of our marriage, we have only thought about what we wanted. Because of this, we threw out many of the standard wedding traditions that we didn’t want to do. That included walking down the aisle, having a first dance, speeches, etc. We made a day that suited us and nobody else. Some people couldn’t believe that we had strayed so far from tradition. But we both adored our day and now people comment that it was the most fun wedding that they had ever been to.
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The things that people question.
Since the wedding, one of the main things that people question is the amount of time we spend together. Mainly because my husband is football crazy and goes to every match, at every opportunity, week in and week out. Not only that, but I love a good night out with the girls and maybe even a cheeky night away or two. People cannot believe that we are both so ok with spending so much time away from one another. Some people feel like we should only do things that the other one can attend also.
Recognizing that we love time apart.
Very early on in our relationship, long before we got married, we realized that as much as we love to spend time together, we love to spend time apart. He wants to watch football, I don’t. I want to go shopping in London, he doesn’t. One of us can either be unhappy following the other around, or we can have independence and do things apart. The important factor here in our marriage is trust. We trust each other when we are not together and that means that there is nothing to worry about when we are not with one another.
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Trying to approach it with forever in our minds.
The other thing that we are not naive in our modern approach to marriage to recognize that forever is a very long time. If we were to live in each other’s pockets every single moment, we would want to throttle one another. The saying is true, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Spending time alone makes me realise that I don’t NEED my husband in my life, but I WANT him. We went into this marriage with the idea of being together forever in our minds, this is one thing that we are doing to make sure that the spark stays alive.
Marriage is a wonderful thing. Don’t get me wrong, there are still moments where I could wrap my hands around his neck, but I do fucking love that man. We jumped in with both feet and it is the best thing that we have ever done. I recommend to anybody that instead of thinking about normal marital standards and do what works for you. For me, it works my husband going away with his friends. I love spending time with him, but I also adore spending time with my friends or alone. Make your own modern approach to marriage and built a life that works for you. Marriage is a long-term commitment and you may as well make it realistic rather than try to uphold old-fashioned norms.
