Last week, my baby turned four months old. It amazes me to say because it only seems like a few weeks ago since I was in hospital having my c-section.

During these 16 weeks of motherhood, there have been so many pivotal moments where I have had realisations about my new role and the stages that I am at. In this post, I am going to share my pieces of advice to expecting mothers or those in the early weeks. This is what I wished I had known or been told…

 

 

Soak up every moment.

The sad truth that I am going to say as the mother to a four-month-old is that it flies by so quickly and they really aren’t little for very long.

I can remember waking up one morning from a pretty sleepless night with my baby and my husband asked how I was after doing the night shift alone (because my husband had gone back to work). I got emotional. In the night, I was sat there, soothing my baby and I felt like we were the only two people in the world.

One thing that I always remind people is that their baby will never need them as much as they did yesterday. Meaning, every single day your baby gets more independent and before you know it, the little baby has gone.

I wouldn’t describe any part of our journey as the ‘trenches’, week after week, it’s amazing.

Whether that bright-eyed happiness comes from being deemed infertile and thinking that I may never have a baby of my own, whatever the reason, I think I went into motherhood with the right attitude, and I’ve loved every second of this invaluable time that I will never get back.

 

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

In the early days of motherhood, I can remember sitting on the sofa in the evening next to my husband and feeling incredibly guilty that the only thing I had done that day was sitting on the sofa and holding my baby.

As somebody who is highly driven with a constant to-do list as long as my arm, I felt like by doing that, I was failing at something.

My husband made it incredibly clear to me that never in my life will I have an opportunity to sit back, relax and just be connected to my baby. Who cares if my to do list needs to be reworked, I needed to set aside the small stuff that usually made me tick and enjoy where I was.

 

Lean on others.

I’m a control freak. In more than happy to admit that. I believe in my capabilities and because of that, I tend to overload myself with tasks and put a tonne of pressure on myself to achieve. One thing in early parenthood that I had to quickly adapt to, was accepting help from other people. Don’t get me wrong, there were times that I asked my husband to do things to help with the baby and I would be sat twitching because I would do it differently, but I had to bite my tongue, sit back and allow help from other people.

Once I did this a few times, it got easier. I realised that I could trust people. That most people only had my best intentions and my babies best intentions at heart.

Share the load, it really helps.

 

Do the things that make you feel good.

My sister won’t mind me saying this, but a few years ago after she had her first daughter, she got into a habit of not taking care of herself. I think she was so overwhelmed and potentially tired that she stopped taking care of herself. She was happy enough but was literally giving her baby 100% of herself.

I am the kind of person that gets up and gets ready every single day. Full face of makeup, hair done neatly (even if it’s up) and you can bet your ass that my teeth are clean, and showers are happening regularly. I didn’t want that to change when I became a mother and to be honest, I prioritised myself when my baby was here.

I make sure that through scheduling and managing my time that I keep on top of cleaning, tidying, sterilising bottles, etc. It works for me, and it means that I am never snowed under and feeling overwhelmed.

Beyond that, I take 15 minutes for myself each morning. In that time, I can do my hair and makeup quickly. That alone makes me feel like I can take on the world. My baby might be napping, might be laid awake in their own bed or even in their bouncy chair sat next to me. It certainly isn’t impossible to find 15 minutes for yourself and that alone made me feel like I could take on the world. That is all I needed to head into another day of new motherhood, feeling and looking my best. It isn’t imperative, but it did wonders for my headspace, and I think all new parents should make time to do the things that make them feel good.

 

Get out of the house quickly.

I had a c-section as I have mentioned, so I had a decent amount of healing to do after and I was sore. Around 5 days after I had my baby, my family were hosting a meal for my great-aunts 80th birthday. I wasn’t sure if I was going to go, but my husband dragged me there.

That one outing with my husband and my baby, to a large group of my family, broke all of the nerves that I had about getting out and about. I did a nappy change on the go, fed him a bottle that I mixed up at the restaurant, handed him around (with hand sanitiser) and strict rules.

It gave me confidence and after that, I knew that I could do it. Since then, there’s being the odd time where it’s seemed a little daunting, but we’ve got there, and we crave getting out of the house.

 

Listen to your gut.

When my baby was just one week old, I could tell that something wasn’t quite right. He was rejecting his bottles, spitting his dummy out and his tongue didn’t look ‘normal’. I booked him a GP appointment and the doctor that we saw was incredibly dismissive and asked me in an incredibly condescending tone, “is this your first baby?”, because she thought I was being dramatic by taking him to the doctor.

In the end, she wouldn’t prescribe us anything because she said that she just thought it was excess milk clinging to his tongue. In the end, I booked a follow up appointment and requested a different doctor, and they said it was oral thrush instant, a rather bad case because it had been left. The moment he was prescribed something, it cleared up instantly.

I just knew. I know sometimes that mothers get bad wraps for taking their children to the doctors for even minor things, however in a taxpayer and I will go to the doctor for as many minor things as I want.

 

If in doubt…

Over the months, there have been a few moments where my baby has screamed the bloody house down. It can be hard at the time, but just remember that they are a baby, and babies cry. For us, if my baby is getting in a knot with their emotions and not coming out of it, a guaranteed method of calming down is walk in the pram and a top up of milk. Find those things that soothe your baby and lean into it, even if it breaks your schedule. Provide those things that bring comfort to your beautiful baby.

 

As always, I hope you guys enjoyed this post and learning more about my motherhood journey. I will honestly say that these first few months have been truly magical. I wish I could relive them all over again. Even in those moments when it can be hard, you just need to remember that it is fleeting.

I would love to hear from you guys in the comments below. If you’re a mother, what do you make of the things that I’ve listed below, and what other advice would you offer to people.